This movie, is a Godz send for several reasons: 1) It's packed with plenty of gore, action, violence, and vampire myth to keep a good number of horror fans happy. 2) It ends the slump that comic book based movies had been strapped with during the ‘90s with flicks like Batman and Robin, Mystery Men, and that atrocious, never released in the United States Fantastic Four movie that Roger Corman made. And, 3) It’s just so damn cool!
Blade is based on the Marvel Comics character of the same name and stars Wesley Snipes (his best role since that of Simon Phoenix in Demolition Man… and that’s not a joke, because I like Demolition Man damn it!) as said title character: a half human, half vampire, all bad ass anti-hero who's made it his personal crusade to stake every fanged bad guy he comes across in an attempt to avenge his human side and his dead mother.
In fact, our opening scene shows us just what happened as we flashback to 1967, when Blade's mom is bitten by a vamp, then gives birth to him before reaching her expiration date. Our opening credits then role, overlapped on some bitchin' time lapse shots of what appears to be the rotten apple; New York City. From here, we follow a young couple as they attend a nice little rave, complete with sprinkler systems that spout blood... guess that since blood IS thicker than water it only makes sense to use it in fire safety devices... Anyway, the party turns into a fang fest, as many of the attendees prepare to turn their guests into Nosferatu Chow! The dinner orgy is interrupted though, when in walks our hero, Blade! After some fancy gun slinging and Shaft style ass kicking, Blade turns the bloodthirsty motherfuckers into ash, then escapes into the night, leaving the fuzz to wonder what the Hell happened while they were eating donuts and beating poor people.
Later that night, our hero shows up at the city morgue to finish off one of the neck biters he toasted (Donal Logue!), but fails, and instead must settle for "kidnapping" a doctor babe that the guy bit before making his own escape. The doctor babe is Dr. Karen Jensen, who plays the cinematic constant as the hero's potential love interest... and I can see why, heh heh. He takes her back to his place (nice to see a hero who knows what he wants), which is more like Blade's own personal Bat Cave, concealed in a common auto garage. We also meet his personal handyman and aged sidekick Abe Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) and the duo injects the good doctor with a garlic liquid in an attempt to stop the vampirism before it takes full hold.
Elsewhere, a vampire council headed by the Elder vampire Dragonetti (cult icon Udo Kier, who knows how to play a vamp from his days on Blood For Dracula) chastises the rash young vampire with delusions of grandeur; Deacon Frost (a fairly well cast Stephen Dorff). While the council wants vampires to integrate themselves into the rest of humanity and live peacefully amongst their non-dead brethren, Frost thinks it'd be a better idea to just take over the world and leave the humans to serve as a living buffet! The council’s been spending a lot of effort and resources on buying politicians and cops in an attempt to ease their fellow bloodsuckers into society, and that’s way too much scratch to be tossing around just to throw it all away by starting a war against mankind.
Back at Camp Blade, our hero reveals to the good (in bed) doctor about how he's a hybrid of vampire and human, and how he can resist the blood hunger of his vampire side by consuming a pseudo-blood, not unlike that found in Sundown: the Vampire in Retreat. Also, Blade is what's known in vampire legend as "the Daywalker": a man who possesses all the strengths of vampires, but none of the weaknesses. For instance, though he has enhanced strength and agility, he is not affected by silver, garlic, or ultra-violet radiation, meaning the sun is useless against him, hence the term, "Daywalker". As for crosses, well, they don't work against full vampires anyway, so they don't bother Blade either. Take that you stupid Christians! Think you have the answers to all the evil in the world, when you're usually just the cause...
Blade's choice of weapons against the baddies? Hollow tipped silver bullets filled with garlic to the head or chest (effective, as well as messy) and, as the weapon from which he got his name's sake, his titanium blade with which he fillets the devourers of viscera! Blade uses Dr. J as bait for the vamps, who seem to want her back REALLY bad for some odd reason. To find out just what's going on, Blade makes a stop to see the big fat slug-like androgynous vampire named Pearl, who's basically Frost's bookkeeper. After using a UV lamp to play 20 questions with him/her/it, Blade learns that Frost is trying to bring together an ancient vampire ritual which will summon La Magra: a really strong, really old vampire God. Blade's in trouble though, because he gets into a one-sided tussle with a mob of kung-fu vamps who work for Frost. Then, just when it looks like the hero is about to bite it (BAD pun) in the third reel, Whistler comes to his salvation and pops a few caps in their fanged asses (that's an odd thought), notified courtesy of a 2 way radio in Blade's ear. Speaking of Frost, he and his fellow punk ass bloodsuckers kidnap Dragonetti, killing him when they expose him to some direct sunlight, allowing for Frost to take over the council. Ooooh, the political intrigue of the vampire world!
As for Dr. J, she's not so lucky because that garlic antidote didn't work, leaving her to transform into a vampire. Then, thanx to the miracle of sun block, Frost is able to confront our "daywalker" friend Blade in Central Park, distracting him long enough for his toothy pals to find and raid Blade's secret hidey-hole! By the time Blade realizes this, Karen's gone and his long time amigo/mentor Whistler is left with a newly ventilated trachea. The old man then forces Blade to kill him so he won't be able to come back as a vampire. Blade, with no other choice and nothing good on TV, now goes to stop Frost once and for all. This is good for Frost though, because the last ingredient he needs for his ritual is the blood of "the Daywalker". Too bad for Eric (Blade's real name) though, because Frost has Blade's mom, who's been turned into his own personal undead fuck kitten! If you haven't picked up on it yet, this is all due to Frost being the vamp who bit her those 30 years ago, making Frost Blade's stepfather or something.
The startling revelation leaves the good guy shocked and vulnerable, allowing for Frost's men to capture him and take him to their temple as an intended sacrifice for the Blood God's wrath! But, leave it to Blade's girlfriend to pick up the slack, as she cuts Blade free and gives up some of her own blood (in a scene that borders on softcore porn) so he might get the second chance to destroy evil. Now, fully recharged, Blade proceeds to stake his own mother while Frost BECOMES La Magra! After the 5th or 6th "Blade kicks the shit out of a cadre of third rate vampire henchmen" scene, he can finally get into his finale deciding sword battle with the vile Frost! How do you kill someone who can regenerate much faster than you can cleave him? Answer: pump him full o' Dr. J's "blow 'em up real good" anti-vampire chemical, then make your way to the happy ending, exit stage left. So, with Frost defeated, Karen offers Blade the anti-vampire antidote she created (which she used on herself I might add) which he refuses, making headway for a sequel before he shuttles off to Russia to start shit with a Ruskie bloodsucker in our final scene.
If you're an old school mainstream horror comic fan boy like yours truly, you can't help but love this flick! Not only did this excellent film contain plenty of action and blood for your American dollars, but it also included some great camera manipulation by our director, Stephen Norrington! I could've done without some of that CGI though, which gets pretty lazy at times. One major problem scene, in my opinion, involved Blade chasing a cop (who works for the vampires, though is not an actual vampire) through public streets and sidewalks, then pulls a big fucking gun on the guy in broad daylight! The cop then escapes, Blade puts away his gun, and... the people on the street go about their lives like nothing happened?! Man, only in NYC...
The Moral of the Story: If you kidnap a hot doctor during a hostage situation, she will fall in love with you... provided you're a half-vampire Wesley Snipes.
H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S. Rating
- There's action and a fair pacing so it shouldn't be hard to keep everyone's interest for 90 minutes. There's also more than enough to poke fun at here, provided you're well versed in the riffing process.
DVD Xtras: Excellent DVD for an excellent movie here, complete with tons of background features on Blade's origins and his transition from the comic book page to the silver screen; a "making of" featurette; a great section that delves into the history of vampires, as well as the different sects and political houses; and cast and crew info. Also, there were a few deleted scenes (nothing special) as well as an alternate ending where the final sword fight between Blade and Frost is dropped, opting for La Magra to turn Frost into a 3 story tornado of CGI blood, which Blade still defeats. Then there's some stupid "bright, sunshiny day" happy ending that ends the movie with Wesley Snipes grinning like a twit... I'm sincerely glad they decided to stick with the other ending!
Sequels: Blade II ;
Blade Trinity
If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: Underworld or
The Crow
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