One half of the two piece "Hulk Vs." DVD (the other feature being Hulk Vs. Thor), this animated mini-movie is Marvel Comics' latest effort at putting their classic stable of four color characters into direct-to-DVD flicks geared toward geeks of all ages, released courtesy of our friends at Lionsgate. Thankfully, comic companies have come to realize over the last 10 or 15 years that most of their audience is buying their products with paychecks now instead of allowances, so it takes a bit more fan service to move merchandise rather than just throwing out piles and piles of crap that kids blackmailed their parents into buying just because it had a notable hero's face on it. So, for my fellow fan-boys and fan-girls in the audience, here's Hulk Vs. Wolverine
"My name is Wolverine. I'm the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice". That opening line alone is enough to make my comic nerd lips turn up in a Joker-sized idiot grin. As for everyone's favorite pint-sized Canadian killing machine, a pre-X-Men Wolverine under the employ of Canadian secret service group Department H is put on the trail of a certain green goliath... or if you prefer, "jade giant". Apparently the Hulk, during one of his trademark rampages, obliterated a quaint little Canadian town called Elkford under his irradiated size 78 tootsies. So, much like the Japanese tried to deal with Godzilla's reign of terror by bringing in King Kong to do some giant primate regulating, so too do the Canucks with their favorite black ops son. Wolvy has little problem finding the big galoot, but when he tries to trade punches with the radioactive avocado, well, you can imagine how things go for the yellow tights wearing midget named after a small grumpy mammal.
Not content to just have the two nerd icons pummel and puncture each other for 35 minutes, the story takes on a new twist with the inclusion of a few less than reputable faces from the hairy little secret agent's past with the shady, top secret, highly-motivated-but-equally-as-sinister project known as Weapon X. For my fellow geeks out there getting rashes over the anticipation of just which Weapon X alumni are sticking their freaky mutant hands into this cookie jar, put away your calamine lotion and peel them peepers: Lady Deathstrike, Omega Red, Sabretooth and Deadpool... though technically the first two never actually had anything to do with Weapon X in the comics, I'll avoid the awkwardness of pointing out that little lapse in continuity to spare myself the shunning and shaming from our readers for my being a socially inept dork... oh wait... damn it!
Seems that the Weapon X facility wants to mind-wipe Bruce Banner and use his jolly green juggernaut of an alter-ego as their latest loaded weapon in their super-mercenary arsenal. An arsenal from which Wolvy himself previously escaped. Naturally this all leads up to a battle royal of nerdgasmic proportions between Wolverine, the Weapon X quartet, and the smash happy golem that not only sees Omega Red coming out quite the badass, but includes Wolverine using Deadpool as a projectile and Hulk giving Sabretooth some free frequent flier miles for his trouble. Fun for all!
Part of what Marvel is doing right with these animated DVD movies is the choice of creative crew they hire. Director Frank Paur is experienced when it comes to comic book character cartooning, with numerous episodes of fan favorites shows "Batman the Animated Series", "Gargoyles", "Spawn", and "X-Men Evolution" under his belt, along with previous Marvel Studios productions The Invincible Iron Man and Doctor Strange. The guy's got a track record that speaks for itself. To make matters even more fan boy friendly though, is Marvel's tendency to hire actual in-house talent to do the writing chores for their flicks. In this case, Craig Kyle and Chris Yost, both of whom not only have their own experiences writing for animated shows and movies, but also received heaps of geek acclaim for their stint on "New X-Men" and their current work on "Young X-Men". With the current financial Three Mile Island that is our economy, I've sadly scaled back on my own fan boy duties in recent months, but once the world goes to shit and the riots start, I plan to loot myself a few trade paperbacks and get myself caught up.
Speaking of comics, long time F.O.O.M.ers (look it up...) like myself will have fun checking out the fan boy Easter Eggs and trying to name the funny-book artists whose works are contributed to the ending credits. I got all but one... and that, ladies and germs, is why I was a virgin until I was 18... and because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find a hooker who'd take a 17 year-old as a client.
Sadly, for being part of the "Hulk Vs." set, this feels more like a Wolverine feature than one for the Hulkster. If this were part of a "Wolverine Vs." thing I'd be okay with that. As a Hulk fan though, I can't help but feel a little slighted that my favorite Atomic Age Jekyll and Hyde is represented as little more than a marketing ploy to sell viewers on another hero's rogues gallery. If Kyle and Yost couldn't make this a solo Wolverine flick, couldn't they have at least slipped in a few Hulk characters to at least try to justify putting Green Genes' name in the title? It couldn't have been some kind of brilliant scheme by the Leader? Really? No Abomination? No Tyrannus? No Doc Samson? No She-Hulk? No Thunderbolt Ross? No Betty Banner? No Rick Jones? Not even Wendigo?! Wendigo was the villain in the first Hulk-Wolverine meeting and we couldn't even fit Wendigo in there somewhere!? Nothing? Nothing. You're killing me Marvel...
I did like Deadpool however. Though I'm not sure I agree with the guy they got to do the voice work for everyone's favorite merc-with-a-mouth, the character here is very much faithful to his comic book counterpart what with his smart alec remarks, inability to shut up, and penchant for random bouts of pointless violence, including one of the 'toon's funniest moments as Deadpool asks Wolverine if he still has his unbreakable skull before shooting the hero point blank in the face... and hitting himself with the ricochet. Fellow DP fans (*wink*wink*) take note: watch the credits through to the end for one last bit of slapstick from our black and red buddy. Let's hope Ryan Reynolds manages to do as good a job in the upcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine, cuz if he does, there's talk of a Deadpool movie...
The Moral of the Story: If your story is particularly shallow in true "superhero crossover" form, make up for it with blatant fan service and PG13 violence.
